Hey beautiful souls, it’s Lilpirahna again … if Episode 2 gave you the map of the walls, Episode 3 is me walking you through the locked doors.
Constant Surveillance: Motion Sensors, Alarms & No Privacy
We couldn’t move without them knowing. There were motion-sensor alarms on certain doors and in hallways…if we got up at night or walked somewhere without permission, the alarm went off and staff were there in seconds.
Our dorm windows were too high to see out. Bathroom stalls had doors that can open from outside, showers were timed at 3 minutes with a stopwatch, and someone stood outside counting down. Privacy didn’t exist.
Locked Bathrooms & Humiliation
Bathrooms were locked except at scheduled times. If you couldn’t hold it, you were mocked, shamed, and sometimes punished…
I still remember the humiliation of being denied basic dignity for something I couldn’t control.
Forced Hydration & Diaper Punishments
Sometimes they made us drink so much water that it was impossible to hold it, then wouldn’t let us use the bathroom. When we inevitably had an accident, they used it as an excuse to put us in diapers. It wasn’t about care…it was about control and public shaming.
Food as a Weapon: Starvation & Protein Drinks
If we cleaned too slowly or broke a rule, dinner could be taken away and replaced with a chalky “protein drink.”
Us girls were so stressed out and overworked that our menstrual cycles stopped.
Force-Feeding After Scrutiny
When the outside world started hearing about the starvation, they didn’t stop…they switched to force-feeding. I’ve had plates piled high shoved at me and been made to eat until I vomited, just so I’d “look healthy” for visiting parents or inspectors. If you threw up, you risked being very heavy punishment.
The Blue Room & Paddling Until Collapse
The “Blue Room” was where they broke you physically. You’d be held down by multiple staff and paddled until you couldn’t stand. Countless girls share traumatizing accounts if what went on in there..
Forced Labor & Medical Neglect
Every day was work… scrubbing brick floors on our hands and knees, yardwork in the heat, carrying buckets of water or dirt depending on the project whether we were sick or injured. If we asked for medical care, we were accused of faking it. I worked with fevers, infections, and blisters so raw they bled through my shoes.
Invasive Exams & Sexual Humiliation
We were subjected to invasive pelvic or anal exams under the pretense of “finding problems.” I didn’t feel safe, I didn’t feel cared for, and I didn’t feel like I had a choice. Those moments stick with me as some of the most violating experiences of my life.
The Long Shadow
Living under alarms, locked bathrooms, diaper punishments, starvation, force-feeding, invasive exams, and constant labor changes you forever. I left with PTSD, trust issues, and scars that aren’t visible but run deep.
What’s Next in Episode 4…
In the next post, we’re stepping outside the walls to the protests, the national news cameras, and the survivor networks that fought for years to make sure the truth came out—and to finally shut Hephzibah House down in 2020.
